And now it’s time to play: Make. It. Racist!

There’s a fun game I like to play. I didn’t create the game — society did — but I still have a blast with it. It’s called “Make it Racist”. The media, Democrats, college professors and, obviously, the NAACP are skilled professionals in this particular sport. They’ve made millions playing it. I’m sure you’re familiar with the simple rules: You take any innocuous thing, statement, event, concept, happenstance or metaphysical reality, and you find a way to infuse racist intent into it.

When you get as good at this game as, say, Al Sharpton, you can take even the most routine banalities and make ’em racist. I’ve been practicing, so let me try. Ok, this morning I put on my shoes. Make it Racist: I only put on my shoes because the cushion in the soles would elevate me above any minorities I might happen to walk by. What seems like simple footwear is actually an insidious and cynical attempt to achieve artificial racial superiority.

Boom. Checkmate.

Those who are exceptionally talented can play on a supremely mind bending, counterintuitive plane. For example, many are playing this game right now with a horrible, corny, stupid yet totally innocent country song by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. It’s a (really irritating) tune about racial unity and understanding, yet somehow the pros have made it racist. Impressive trick, I must say. A white dude speaks AGAINST racism and even THAT’S racist? Well done, sirs, well done.

There’s something else about this game. You have to be a scumbag with a completely dysfunctional moral compass to really compete at a high level. Once you’ve truly transformed yourself into a manipulative, soul eating demon you will be impossible to beat. Take another example: Rand Paul spoke to students at a historically black college yesterday. The media had a field day with this, cackling about how his message could not be well received in that sort of forum. Why? Because he believes in liberty. So what are they implying? Liberty is racist. Freedom is anti-black. White folks in the media are saying black people don’t like freedom, and these statements are apparently acceptable in the no holds barred arena of Make it Racist. So Rand speaks about the Bill of Rights, individual liberty, and reigning in the oppressiveness of big government and, somehow, in a move that manages to fundamentally subvert Truth and outwardly promote tyranny and servitude, the Socialists have Made it Racist.

Let’s review: Libertarians shouldn’t speak to black colleges because they believe in freedom, which is racist. Democrats, however, are welcome because they’re the party of slavery, Jim Crow, Internment camps, and abortions that kill black babies at a rate 6 times higher than white babies, which is not at all racist.

Wow. These modern Marxists are like the Olympians of Make it Racist. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to compete.