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Here’s an email I received from an anonymous wimp this morning:

“Matt, you are bringing two children into a world that is dangerous enough. They don’t need their own home to be a death trap. You said you have a gun in your house. How could you keep something like that within the vicinity of CHILDREN? What if they get their hands on it? What then? All of your love for the second amendment will go out the window, that’s what. Your gun crazy rants are too much to take. You are a reckless radio host and now you will be a reckless father. Fool. With any luck you’ll be fired before your children are born.”

You gotta love the faceless cowards. They’ll never come up to you in public, look you in the eye like a man and make these personal attacks. No, they sit behind their keyboards like sniveling little weaklings and pass their absurd judgments as they wish all sorts of bad things upon you and your family. I’m used to it by now. It comes with the territory. I just hope that one day God will grant me my wish of a face to face with one of these bloated trolls. But I’m sure he won’t, for the troll’s sake.

For the record, I never said I own a gun because, in fact, I don’t own a gun. But now that I will have not only my wife but two babies in my home, I most certainly will go out and purchase a firearm soon. Despite the crazed blabberings of guys like the one above, who likely are not married, have no children and therefore are not called to protect anything but their own nothing of an existence, the reality is that I have a responsibility to possess the means to defend my family. I am going to buy a gun because it is not just my right but my duty. I am going to buy a gun because there are bad people out there who do bad things. You can hide under your bed and pretend it’s all imaginary if you want. And, incidentally, if you do not own a weapon that may be your only option if ever one of these bad people decide to come to your house and introduce themselves. Never going to happen, you think? You ever watch the news? Read a newspaper? Open your eyes? Use your brain? No on all counts, I guess. If anything, it’s reckless to NOT own a gun when you have kids. I can not conceive of being a position where I need to protect my family and I am unable because I was too lazy or too scared or too shortsighted to buy a gun and learn how to use it. 

As for keeping the gun away from my kids, I think I can handle that task. In fact, if you can’t figure out how to keep potentially dangerous items away from babies, you probably shouldn’t be conceiving them in the first place. It’s not that hard, is it? I’m sure if I rack my brain I can figure out a way to outwit a one year old. And even the “gun free” homes are not, presumably, free of bleach, chemicals, prescription pills, bath tubs, electrical sockets, cords hanging from the blinds and tall bookcases. All of these things can not only kill a child but are more likely to kill a child than daddy’s gun. 

And then when my children are of age I’ll teach them how to safely and properly handle a weapon. I’ll teach them responsibility and discipline. In other words I’ll be a — what do they call it, again? — oh yeah, parent. Sure, that might be easier said than done but if I’m taking on the job I intend to fully carry out the duties that come with it. And I don’t think you’re doing your job if the only gun lesson you ever pass on to your kids is, “EVIL! BAD! STAY AWAY! PAIN! DEATH! SCARY!” That might work for toddlers but your “gun safety” curriculum has to mature if you expect your kids to do the same. I know we live in a society that generally treats kids like babies, teenagers like kids and adults like teenagers, but I won’t be following the culture’s lead on that. Or on anything else, for that matter.

Anyway, thanks for the email.