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Today someone accused me of “harboring a grudge against the government.” This was a totally unfair mischaracterization of my feelings. I don’t harbor a “grudge” against the government. I harbor a deep raging hatred for what they’ve done to my country, my liberty, my Constitution and my children’s future. But a grudge? No. Grudges are too petty. I have grudges against Volkswagens and Jeff Dunham and Comcast and a few other things. The government, on the other hand, stirs in me a visceral, exasperated feeling of primal and righteous anger. Our government murders and ruins and steals. It perverts, decays and bankrupts everything it touches. It is a bloated cancerous blob. I wish I could metaphorically hack it into a thousand pieces and stuff it into a burlap sack and then throw it into a shark infested sea. I’m allowed to say that because I’m speaking metaphorically, which means it isn’t a threat. It’s poetry. Or something.

This all comes up for two reasons: 1) Every single day there’s another story about another government agency committing horrible crimes, betraying the public’s trust, engaging in horrendous abuses of power, and stealing our money to spend it on various luxuries and carnal indulgences. Therefore it’s always timely to discuss how awful our government is and why it is poisonous to freedom, privacy, and prosperity, and why it just generally sucks in every conceivable way. 2) For today’s particular illustration of this point, an audit of the Kentucky Emergency Management division reveals that officials spent over 5 million dollars on entertainment, alcohol, hotels, cruises and parties, while doctoring records to conceal their abuses and threatening agency employees to stay silent about it. Granted, this is par for the course in modern American governance, but the revelations are nonetheless outrageous even if they aren’t at all rare or surprising.

Personally, I have worked several jobs over the last decade, yet I have never once attended, nor have I been invited to attend, an employee conference, reception, gala, ball, party, cruise, retreat, workshop or ceremony. Never. Not one. I am obviously deprived. Impoverished, even. Utterly destitute. One of the most basic human needs — alongside water, sustenance, and shelter — is lavish celebrations with free alcohol and expensive door prizes. At least that’s the government’s perspective, given the fact that there apparently isn’t a single bureaucracy at any level that can simply conduct their affairs during business hours without taking their employees on boozy field trips to pricey junkets. Even the guy who runs the emergency management division in Kentucky can’t figure out how to manage an emergency unless the emergency involves figuring out how to upgrade his tax funded hotel room to a suite with a jacuzzi tub and an adjustable Serta bed.

I’m sure the victims of floods and tornadoes will be relieved to know that their situation is being dealt with by overpaid government employees who workshopped their response plan during tax funded “working lunches” at a hotel only a few miles from their office.

Sorry, but I’m done listening to excuses. You know how many tax dollars should be spent to buy lunch for government pencil pushers? Zero. You know how many tax dollars should be spent to rent hotel suites and to buy catering services for government employees? Zero. You know how many tax dollars should be spent sending government workers on trips and cruises? Zero. You know how many tax dollars should be spent purchasing booze and door prizes and booking guest speakers for parties for bureaucrats? Well, maybe a few bucks from time to time would be reasonable. Just kidding. Zero. None.

Let me ask you something. What would happen if no bureaucrat ever got to have another free party or eat another expensive free meal or sleep in another free hotel room ever again? Would the roads crumble and planes fall from the sky and would our entire society descend into anarchy, chaos and cannibalism? In other words, is this crap necessary in order for the government to complete its essential functions? Of course not. So why do we put up with it? Why do we put up with any of it?

The whole world has been turned on its head. We are supposed to hold the government to the “is there a need for this?” standard, and instead they hold us to that standard when we want to exercise our constitutionally guaranteed rights, like our right to own a gun. Everything is backwards. We should be saying to the State: “Don’t spend my money until you explain to me why you need to spend it.” Instead, they say to us: “Don’t spend your money until you explain to us why you need to spend it.” We need to grow a collective spine and stand up to these thieving charlatans.